Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize