Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
