And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
