You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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