I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
