Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
