New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
