is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
