dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
