i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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