I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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