You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
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You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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