I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
