I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
