what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
