If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
