Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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