i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
