I only kidnapped one of them. chill
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
