so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My vagina just clenched in fear
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
