When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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