; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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