My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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