I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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