I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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