i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
being pregnant is like rehab
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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