Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
