it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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