Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
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