We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
