Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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