well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
