I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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