We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
only you would photoshop your dick
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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