i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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