Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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