Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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