i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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