if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
