I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
