At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize