member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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