I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
not ubering you a puppy
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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