you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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