4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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