i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
