Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
