She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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