I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
