It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
