he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
