yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
