I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
