You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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