After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
