They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
