Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
