I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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