he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize