I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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