im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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